Monday, February 25, 2008

Child With DS

In my all my years of teaching childbirth classes, I had my first couple have a Downs Syndrome baby. I am very proud of them in how they have dealt with the shock of finding out after he was born to now knowing their little boy will always be perfect.

Here is a poem that my student wrote:

So now a new life begins
One I never dreamed of, one I couldn’t possible have imagined
Something has been given to me, entrusted to me that I thought is only given to “others”
Not me, no way, it never even crossed my mind, when they asked “ Do you want to take the test”
“Oh no, we don’t’ want the test, for if there was anything “wrong” we would never abort
Truthfully it didn ‘t occur to me that yes I could be a chosen one
No way, not me! Only happens to other people, poor , poor people
They can handle it though, as long as I don’t have to deal with it, face it, look at it, live it everyday
It doesn’t even cross my mind. Honestly I can count on my fingers how often I have come across a person with DS.
Now that it is my reality, my everyday, I wonder, why do I never see DS. Do they not get to go to the malls, the market, the stores, everyday life. Are they unable to act normal, or are they such a burden to take out that their families would rather just leave them at home?
Do their families whole lives change because of this person? Do they become recluse? Do they have a permanent pain in their broken hearts? Do they age much quicker because life has taken such a difficult toll on them?
Do they stop going to parties, and family gathering, weddings and vacations, because they are ashamed, tired, not up to all the questions and stares???
I know I am saying some things that may seem rude and certainly ignorant
This is all still so new to me, still just such a shock, I honestly can’t believe that I am even writing about such things
So I join support groups and I desperately hang on to all that these wonderful and experienced souls, soldiers in a fight for a great life for their loved ones
They tell me, it’s ok, what I feel is normal. They tell me that they felt exactly the same, they felt that they would never be able to handle it
Then they said, life happens and my baby, my child will heal me, he will teach me that everything is ok
He will show me the way, he will lead me in this dance. I will look at him with a pure love and so much pride, just like any other mother of a “typical” child
In fact I will probably love him more because I went through so much and I see how much harder everything this precious child struggled to learn what he learns
It will not bother him though
Just take my time, take it one day at a time
I am not alone
And everything is going to be not just fine, but amazing, filled with joy and laughter, not just tears and heartache
Hold my baby close for now, let his smile make me smile
Don’t be afraid to love him completely
Capture the milestones in picture and in words, feed him and change him and most of all
Just love him day by day, he is after all, just my baby first and foremost
Ds will not be who he is, just part of his genetic structure
DS is not his heart or his mind or his soul
That comes from what God has put in him
DS is for the rest of us, “typical” people
It is for us to learn to love the way Jesus loves
These chosen people, they say love so completely and deeply with all their hearts
They will not judge us, they will always be ready with a hug, a smile
Time will be my friend, as my baby grown into a man
As his personality forms and I get to know who he is
I just know he will be my greatest joys
You know what? He is already my greatest inspiration
He will be everything I never knew that I wanted and needed
Thank you God

Jessika Young - God Be With You

1 comment:

jessika77 said...

Dorene thank u so much for sharing this on world down syndrome day!. I hadforgotten all about it. I will write an update and share.I